Writings

I love to write.  I love to tell stories.  As anyone who knows me will tell you, I’ll keep telling a story over and over, adjusting it each time to make it more interesting.  The challenge is to embellish the story content without affecting the underlying truth.  Every one of these stories is 100% true…although the details may have been modified for the purpose of clarity.

  • Playing with Empty Boxes April 29, 2014
    Remember when you were a kid, and your parents took delivery on a new appliance, or piece of furniture?  Remember what it was like?  Remember the thrill of anticipation as that most awesome item was brought into your home. What was it that brought such joy?  Was it the refrigerator?  The stove?  The sofa? No.  To the ...
  • Making Memories August 2, 2012
    “Take your daughter out sailing,” she said.  “Make some memories”... The wind was blowing out of the south/southwest, and according to my cell phone weather program, was going at eleven or twelve miles per hour.  That’s a pretty strong wind for an experienced crew, and Julia was far from experienced.  But looking at the flag at ...
  • Where’s the Arch? June 1, 2000
    The wonderment of childish in-sight (and out again)... My family relocated to St. Louis at the end of February.  Well, actually, we haven’t moved to St. Louis any more than we moved here from Chicago.  We actually moved from Aurora, IL to Ellisville, MO.  It is now the beginning of June, and we’re finally getting some ...
  • Good-bye, Grandpa October 26, 1998
    My grandfather recently passed away.  This is how that event has meshed with our lives. My grandfather passed away on October 20, 1998 at the ripe old age of 91 years.  He lived a long life, and with the possible exception of the last three years, it was a happy one.  The following is my attempt ...
  • Crash Course January 1, 1998
    The day I learned to ski on snow… There’s nothing quite like downhill skiing.  The wind in your face.  The sound of your skis swooshing through powder.  The feeling of control as you glide over the pristine white landscape…  Okay, maybe not the feeling of control…how about the illusion of control.  The illusion that threatens to shatter at a moments ...
  • The Horrifying Tale of Christopher Walker October 31, 1997
    Scaring eight-year-olds is easier than you might think… Last Halloween, I was approached by our friend Alice.  It seems she was holding a Halloween party for her 8-year-old daughter, Amber’s classmates, and needed somebody to tell scary stories to the kids.  I guess she figured that if I could tell funny stories, I could tell scary ones too.  She offered ...
  • Christine Arrives July 1, 1997
    On my daughter’s first birthday, I present the story of a labor of love… Warning: This is the story of the birth of my daughter. If you are under the age of consent in your state, you probably shouldn’t read this. If you are single, or newly married and considering having children, you probably shouldn’t ...
  • “Woops! Dropped Me Soap” March 3, 1997
    A treatise on public shower etiquette in the 90’s… Everybody who has gone to a public gym or health club has to have a shower story. This is especially true for men, and even more so for men who attended all-male schools in their past. These single-sex schools seem to accomplish very little other than promoting rampant homophobia. But background ...
  • Freudian Strip February 2, 1997
    The tale of a bizarre career-day encounter… My brother is a dancer. No, actually he’s an exotic dancer. Well, okay…he’s a stripper. Hey! somebody’s got to do it. Anyway, this form of work, coupled with his rather quirky personality combine to produce no end of anecdotal material. My parents don’t exactly approve of his chosen profession. They would like to ...
  • The Faucet Incident January 1, 1997
    Have toolbelt will travel. This story has everything bu the kitchen sink…oh wait, it’s got the kitchen sink too! In the interest of better faucet utilization, I had installed a swivel-head onto my kitchen faucet. For the uninitiated, this is a fixed, plastic nozzle that one can swivel about thirty degrees in any direction, and pull or push ...